Aurora had started to show signs of separation anxiety about two weeks before we left. Nothing serious, she just cried a little when we would leave her at daycare. It was unusual for sure for her, but we didn’t think much of it.
When we arrived in Iceland though, boy did it rear its ugly head. She sobbed all night and hardly slept. She cried when she wasn’t held. She cried when she was. It was awful, and we really didn’t know what to do to help her. I don’t say this to be dramatic, just to say I get it. Families go through rough patches. Kids have bad days. Kids have REALLY bad days. Parents have bad days. It happens.
Sometimes it happens when you have a photography session planned. Then what do you do? Do you cancel or reschedule? Maybe, if you have enough time to see that it’s not going to work or that they might be getting sick.
What about when it starts to unravel in the middle of the session? Is your session destined to be doomed? Just look at these images, in all their tantrum glory. They’re pretty rough, right? She was really, really unhappy. I would have rescheduled if it weren’t a once in a lifetime chance. We had to do it now or never. And you know what? We got some really lovely pictures. See here, here and here for the resulting final images. (And yeah, I did fully edit these too, because it was the reality of what we went through, and I wanted to remember that.)
Almost every session I’ve had a mom warn me about one child who may or may not cooperate. As your photographer, I not only am a service business and dedicated to giving you the best experience possible, I also am trained to be able to strategically manage the session. So I’ve created my top five ways to get your children to cooperate for the photography session, because even the easiest child has their days:
- Prepare.
- This is number one for me. Always make sure their bellies are full, even if it’s a random time. All security items should be around incase they need them. If the session falls during or around a nap time readjust their schedule for the day so they are well rested. Don’t plan a session after a big day at the doctor where they had shots, some things are beyond anyone’s power.
- Let them cry and don’t stress.
- Crying is a stress reliever for babies. As a mom, it’s almost physically painful for me to hear my baby crying. However, my willful toddler sometimes just needs to cry because she cannot communicate what she wants, or she saw we looked a little upset at something she did, or because she didn’t get her way. Sometimes a few minutes of crying actually helps them to get it out, express their anger and feel their emotions were heard. Then they’re ready to move on and see that really cute toy they see out of the corner of their eye. They also take cues from their parents. So if you get stressed and they feel it, it’s just going to spiral. Take a deep breath and embrace the cry.
- Change your angles.
- Without a doubt Rory would break into tears as soon as I was getting into a rhythm and break up the whole flow of the session. Instead of panicking, I just flipped her around so you couldn’t see her face and had Michael comfort her. We got some sweet snuggle shots you would never know was a tantrum in disguise.
- Follow their lead.
- Rory was walking and running and she wanted everyone to know it. Being held was simply not on the agenda most of the time. Toddlers are very singular minded. They get something in their head and it HAS to happen. You know what? Let it. Rory want’s to walk so we’ll go on a walk and twirl together. They don’t want to hold the baby but they will give them a kiss. They ONLY want to be held by mom but dad can snuggle in behind them. We can work with it.
- Give them something to feel special about.
- Rory loves figuring things out and the behind the scenes. If your kid just does not want to be in front of the camera, let them take a look, maybe even take a picture themselves. They’ll feel so proud of the special knowledge they have and that they helped. It takes the attention and pressure away from the event and lets them warm up to the session gently. If all else fails, bring out the treasure chest. I have a little box of goodies and small toys that I ask them to agree to smile and cuddle with mom and dad for the session. If they can do that, they get to pick a toy. It’s a constant reminder through the session, “Just a few more and then we can look at the treasure chest!”
I mean that’s some serious crying face. Phew.
There are sometimes situations where it is necessary to just call it and reschedule for a better day. But please don’t panic if your babies are less than their most perfect selves. We can work with that. I’ve been there, as a photographer and a mom. I’ve got you.
Also, thanks to Jamie Kay for the outfits that look gorgeous even through a tantrum. These outfits available to all clients as part of my client wardrobe. I would love to begin planning your custom portrait session. If you would like more details on the session experience with Brynn Burke Photography please click here for more details or here to book.
